There is a slot, a slot is needed

 

Since I started making bead bags, I’ve had a realization.

 

I have always loved fashion and dressing up, so I went to college to major in fashion design. It was a course that taught everything from design to production. However, shortly after enrolling, I began to worry, "Do I really love clothes? Do I love them enough to make them?"

That’s because, to me, making clothes felt overwhelmingly broad and free. There are countless choices—the type of item, the design, the construction method, the fabric, the decorative parts, and so on—even just for making a single skirt.

I thought, "It's too much... I can't do this," and I stopped finding it fun and completely lost the desire to create.

I realized that when creating any product—not just fashion—having total freedom wasn't enjoyable for me, and that I’m not good at creating from scratch.

I realized I prefer choosing from things that already exist.

 

Then, a few years after graduating college, I discovered beads.

Having a framework (a limitation)—where I only use beads, changing only the stitching and the size of the beads—was a perfect fit for me; it was what I needed.

I feel lucky that I found beads.⭐︎

 

Looking back, I realized that even in high school, I enjoyed it precisely because there were rules like the school dress code.

I enjoyed thinking about how to wear my uniform in a stylish way.

 

Since mini-skirts were popular, I would intentionally wear knee-length skirts with flashy striped or polka-dot socks, or wear sweatshirts or hoodies over my uniform, enjoying my own unique sense of style.☺︎

Even though I could have chosen a high school with no uniforms where I could have dressed however I wanted, I didn't—perhaps because, even then, I had this feeling, even if I couldn't put it into words.

 

For me, total freedom is not my strong suit.

I like to find freedom by expressing my own style within a framework.

There’s a part of me that feels scared when I'm told, "Anything is fine!" because I don't know what I want to do.

 

That’s why I am moved by and respect people who can think of something, choose it, and create it from scratch.

I envy them for being able to enjoy that, but at the same time, I realize that wasn't where I belonged. I feel motivated to do my very best and enjoy myself freely in the place where I belong.